We both said we had them, and my partner said he wanted to have that experience with me, too.” -Corinne, 29, Chicago What are some rules or boundaries that you have around threesomes? “My partner and I were both sharing stories about our sexual histories this one time, and the topic of threesomes came up.
I was trying really hard to make ‘just us’ sex work, but after about three months of being sexually frustrated we had a talk and both revealed we had no problem being open.” -Louis, 36, Santa Cruz Oral got old and I wanted to keep dating, but not limit my sex to only our interactions. “My partner is a top I am too (sometimes I bottom, he never bottoms). “My first threesome was my best friend and I going up to a guy at a party and being really straightforward and asking if he would like to have a threesome with us.”-Margot, 20, Minneapolis “It’s often been an all night affair and not just a 20-30 minute experience, which to me is pretty great!” -Thomas, 30, Asbury Park With whom do you have threesomes? How did you get into it? My wife, for example, shocked herself how quickly she would climax just watching me with another man” -Andre, 29, Houston “There are times where taking a break and watching your partner with someone can be a blast too. So threesomes can be a great way to learn more about your own partner and yourself sexually.” -Ben, 32, Boston “Actually, I’ve learned some new ways to push my husband’s buttons because of the way a third engages with him or tries something on him. Porque no los dos?” -Louis, 36, Santa Cruz Also the taboo of it? If that makes sense? I love watching people fuck.
“It's like being IN a porn that you are also watching. It’s actually shocking how many people (especially couples) are out at the bars hoping to find a new recruit.” -Angela, 42, Oklahoma City Now that I recognize like-minded people, it is easy to sense someone’s ‘vibe’. “Before I was into all of this I was completely oblivious to my surroundings. First thing’s first: how do you even set up a threesome?
So, I reached out to people who have “regular or semi-regular” threesomes, and I learned a lot about what it takes to make one happen, and what makes them so damn hot. However, people aren’t actually having that many threesomes, only 3% of people surveyed had a threesome in the past year, and only 1% of people surveyed had one in the past month. Justin Lehmiller, who interviewed over 4,000 couples for his book Tell Me What You Want, having a threesome is the top sexual fantasy, although men seem to be a bit more intrigued by the idea ( a separate study showed that 82% of men and 31% of women reported at least some interest in having a threesome). The allure of the ménage à trois cannot be ignored. Three is a magic number, especially when it comes to sex. If you’ve seen any image of Idris Elba in a three piece suit you get it. "We're able to maintain our presence without mentally brainstorming what position we should twist into next, or thinking about that cramp in our leg, or worrying we're going to slide off the bed." You know you've been there.Wise men. "When we keep things simple, we are able to experience the moment more fully and connect to our partners more deeply," Goerlich says. "Trying to replicate the gymnastic positions you see in porn videos or erotic guides can feel distracting or even confusing, which pulls you out of the moment and diminishes pleasure and sense of connection."įocusing on easier sex positions allows you to live in the moment, which can enhance those orgasmic sensations. While occasionally trying to perform advanced moves can make sex even hotter for some, it can also serve as a distraction, adds Goerlich. "Incorporating elements of erotic conversation, role play, teasing, and lingerie can make 'easy' sex incredibly pleasurable for everyone involved." In other words, the headspace we create for ourselves and our partners," she says. "A big part of the experience is what happens between our ears. That's because sex isn't only about what's happening between our bodies, says Stefani Goerlich, LMSW, a certified sex therapist and author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. News flash: You don't need to be insanely flexible or perform acrobatic-level moves with your romping buddy to have amazing sex. Some people call missionary, the most basic and easy-to-DIY of all sex positions, ~vanilla~, but it doesn't have to be.